The Pacifier Presidency: (in his own words?)

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You know, they said it couldn’t be done, they said it would never happen, but look, it happened, it’s happening. We’ve got a felon as president 🍼and it’s not satire, folks, it’s on the record, everybody knows it.

Court docket, felony conviction, very sad.

And people love me, I mean not me, him, whatever, somebody loves somebody, but the point is—Kamala Harris, okay? She had Secret Service, she had protection, and then poof!—taken away 🔒. You know why? Because spite, because juice box politics, because when you’re a baby you grab the toy and say “mine!”

And then the law firms, the big fancy firms, Perkins Coie, WilmerHale, whatever—they get banned ⚖️, just banned, no more contracts, because they were mean to him once, maybe they wrote a memo, maybe they sneezed in his direction, doesn’t matter. And Soros—people are saying RICO charges 🚨, can you believe it, I mean you can, because he said it out loud into a microphone.

You know, the CDC, very bad, very disloyal, people don’t like them, I don’t like them, nobody likes them. They tell you things, all the time, “wear a mask, don’t drink bleach”—wrong! wrong! total disasters. So we had to make a change, we did, a very big change. We said, Susan Monarez, the so-called deputy director—out! Gone! 🏛️ Fired in August, beautiful firing, one of the best. People said, “Sir, if you fire her, scientists will quit.” And I said, “Good, let them quit. We don’t need babysitters telling us what to do.”

And WHO, the World Health Organization, very corrupt, they didn’t clap for me once, not once, so we told them no more money 💊. Billions, saved billions. People said we needed them during COVID, but I handled COVID perfectly, everybody knows it, the best COVID response. Even better this time, because we don’t even have scientists in the way now, no scientists, no noise.

By the way, remember the timeline? Back in April 2020, I said it will disappear. WHO said otherwise. Funny that. A big difference. Everyone remembers. They said one thing, I said another, and we’re still—just funny. 💊

Data pipelines? They say they’re crippled 📉. But my pipeline, very strong pipeline, much stronger than their pipeline, everybody says it. International allies 🌍, they say “we can’t trust you on pandemics,” and I say, “you never trusted us, we don’t care, we don’t need you, we’re America, very independent.”

And the Inspectors General? Fired too, like twenty of them 💥, it’s like firing the referees and then dunking on toddlers, “look at me, I win.”

Meanwhile abroad 🌍—what a disaster. NATO, canceled like a bad subscription. Allies, humiliated. Dictators, praised. Play-dates with autocrats, very strong play-dates, the best play-dates. And then back to pardons 🤡, don’t forget the pardons, he gave them out like candy at Halloween—Jan. 6 conspirators, extremists, even Ross Ulbricht because why not, the Silk Road is now a scenic highway apparently.

So the CDC, gone, finished, weak. And me? Strong. No babysitters. Nobody tells me when nap time is. Tremendous.

🗝️Emoji Key and Receipts📜

• 🍼 Felon president (court conviction)
• 🔒 Harris’s Secret Service detail revoked (AP, 2025)
• ⚖️ Law firms banned from contracts (Wikipedia)
• 🚨 Soros RICO demand (Reuters)
• 🏛️ CDC firings & resignations (Guardian)
• 💊 Trump vs. WHO Commentary Timeline (NPR)
• 📉 Impact of Agency Hollowing on Datasystems (Reuters)
• 💥 Purge of Inspectors General (Wikipedia)
• 🌍 International humiliation (Guardian)
• 🤡 Pardons for cronies (Wikipedia)