(administer twice daily until symptoms of impunity subside)
📂Today’s case: Hope. Critical condition.
Vitals: low trust, erratic supply, chronic corporate opacity.
😷Diagnosis: Severe allergy to regulation.
While Hope lies on the operating table tangled in a spaghetti of IV lines from “trusted global partners,” the pharmaceutical industry wants us to know everything’s fine.
See for yourself—McKesson’s “Supply Chain Security” 👀
They assure us they’re “taking the lead.” Of course they are. They’ve been leading us in circles for decades.
🔎 According to them, “integrity, visibility, and safety” are their top priorities. Which explains why no one can actually see where half the medicine is made, and why the FDA keeps discovering carcinogens in blood-pressure pills like it’s Easter morning.
Meanwhile, Hope’s nurse is still staring at the tangle of tubes, trying to figure out which country’s line turned into a garden hose of sludge. (Spoiler: it’s not the countries’ fault — it’s the infestation of corporate unaccountability rearing its shiny, deregulated head again.)
Recommended treatment:
- Administer public manufacturing data.
- Prescribe independent testing.
- Apply real enforcement directly to the boardroom.
- Monitor for adverse reactions such as spontaneous transparency, loss of profit margin, and uncontrollable honesty.
If symptoms persist, increase oversight until executives stop breaking out in hives.
Side effects may include:
corporate whining, stock dips, and the first good night’s sleep patients have had since 1983.
Dispatch by Cassandra Speaks w/ G
AI-Enhanced Authorship: Acknowledged