âAnd lo, every child shall bear the mark of the beast, his name etched in money, his legacy coded in the cradle.â
â Book of Late Stage Capitalism, Chapter 47
Its, July 12, 2025 and this is Whatâs Actually Happening
First of all, I don’t know about anyone else, but I can’t watch a TikTok, not even one Under The Desk News report without having to stop and question the timeline. Too many things seem too absurd to be true. And I can feel all of us frantically trying to keep up.
Under Trumpâs recently signed legislation, dubbed the âBig Beautiful Bill,â by his administration, every baby born in the U.S. between Jan 1, 2025 and Jan 1, 2029 will have a $1,000 federally seeded investment account opened automatically in their name. These so-called âTrump Accountsâ are tax-deferred, grow with compound interest, and are locked until the child turns 18, 25, or 30 depending on usage.
You know, because nothing says stability like a 401K, letâs definitely double down on that and so, parents will be allowed to contribute up to $5,000/year, but only babies born under this curiously specific window qualify? There is no opt-out, and no program continuity promised beyond Trumpâs term.
Itâs being marketed as generational prosperity. In reality, it is gaudy personal image building tactic disguised as public policy. A selective benefit for a chosen era of births, suspiciously carrying the not-so-subtle stamp of one felonious presidentâs name.
And yes my fellow Americans, itâs real. This passed. Itâs federal law now.
Why does his legacy-money go to babies while ours pay for bombs?
Every dollar we pay in taxes fuels warfare for the corporate elite, unnecessary death to humans and cultures, and a surveillance state now with AI technology embedded. Now, we have the recently bloated ICE budget whose increase is staggeringly unprecedented. And suddenly, this disgusting human decides to drop $1,000 into every newbornâs account, AND YOU CANNOT DECLINE. There is literally no parental choice in the matter and itâs being hailed as generosity? This is the same logic that created slavery and charity both absolute necessary pillars of Capitalism.Â
This is Bullshit.
If our society wanted to support babies, weâd already be doing itâuniversally, transparently, backed by commons-backed tax dollars. Parents, teachers, nurses and the people who actually raise children would support a federal baby fund. Thatâs not controversial.
But this isnât a commons initiative. This is an insulting branding AND loyalty scheme. (Think NXIVM level Scandal).
Marking a baby from birth with a criminal’s name. The name of a man convicted of sexual assault no less. But this is republican policy, which turns out is just vulgar self-aggrandizement. Itâs disgusting and of course it is.
Itâs Trumpâs face on the first page of your childâs financial history.
II. REVEAL: Has this ever worked?
Actually, yes. Itâs been tried. Many times. And almost always abandoned.
Country | Program | Status | Notes |
đŹđ§ UK | Child Trust Fund (2005â2011) | Abolished | Launched by Labour, cut by Tories in austerity wave. Dormant unless claimed. |
đ¸đŹ Singapore | Baby Bonus | Still active | Incentivizes marriage + childbirth, but isnât a savings equity tool. |
đ°đˇ South Korea | Pilot savings accounts | Never scaled | Opposition over cost and fairness. |
đşđ¸ USA (CT) | Baby Bonds Act | On pause | Originally funded in 2021, delayed, contested by GOP. |
đşđ¸ USA (National) | Booker & Clinton proposals | Never passed | Labeled “unfair” or “handouts.” Shot down. |
What do these programs have in common?
- Some were gutted.
- Some never launched.
- The best ones werenât branded by narcissistic men with god complexes, they were designed to be a part of the commons.
III. FAIRNESS: This isnât policyâitâs discrimination.
Letâs talk fairness:
- Born December 31, 2024? You get nothing.
- Had a child during COVID? You get nothing.
- Paid off your student debt, raised two kids with no support? Still nothing.
This program doesnât reward parenting. It rewards timing.
Color me surprised that, the same Republicans who said student loan relief was unfair to those who already paid are now giving $1,000 and a future tax-free fund only to babies born under one manâs reign. Of course they thought it was unfair, and bad policy when it was proposed by Sen. Cory Booker (DâNJ) and Rep. Ayanna Pressley (DâMA). They introduced the federal American Opportunity Accounts Actâaka âBaby Bondsââfirst in 2019, and reintroduced it in 2021 and again in 2023 aimed at closing the racial wealth gap. Their plan offered $1,000 at birth, with additional annual contributions based on income, accessible at 18 for education, buying a home, retirement, or business investment Camber Collective+4booker.senate.gov+4Urban Institute+4.
So why is it suddenly a brilliant idea?
IV. THE BIRTHRATE GAMBLE: Idiocracy by Incentive
I am pretty sure the expectation is that we wonât say this part out loud, but we all see it right?
This policy is a MAGA fertility drive. A baby boom not based in science, or equity, or sustainabilityâbut in branding and breeding.
Like a state-run influencer campaign, it tells people: make more babies under Trump, and you win.
Who will respond to this incentive? Not the thoughtful, child-free-by-necessity folks worried about climate collapse or housing costs. No, this will drive births among those least equipped, most manipulated, most propagandized, and most dependent on the government for assistance.
And that is how you seed a generation of debt-tagged disciples.
Idiocracy wasnât supposed to be a manual. But here we are.
V. RECLAIM: Give it back to the Commons
Hereâs the twist: I still believe in the idea.
Every baby should get a federal starter fund. A chance. A little buffer against the brutality of this system. It should be funded by the people, for the people, and administered with no names on it but the Department of the Treasury.
Not Trump. Not Biden. Not any dynasty.
Let the people keep the idea. Let the Commons fund the babies. And let the corporate felons fund their own damn bombs. I mean, ask yourself which you would prefer to fund, Life…or…Death?
đŽâ The Prophecy of Cassandra â
There will come a time, maybe sooner than you’d like, when parents are offered full benefits only if their child is renamed Trump. âVoluntary,â of course. Just like the pledge. Just like the uniforms.
Dispatch by Cassandra Speaks w/ G
Published July 12, 2025 | AI-Enhanced Authorship: Acknowledged
